Thursday, December 29, 2011

Sometimes...

Sometimes the hardest things to get out of your head should be the easiest. A life full of laughter and love should be enough to sustain a life that suffered a moment of heartache that should have been expected because it was wrong. Yet the one thing that goes through my head and my heart is the word forever. Not in the way that one thinks it would but just that mine still screams it and can't take back that promise.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Give me strength!

God give me strength. I sometimes don't know how I deal with the daily things that live brings with it. Having POTs sometimes feels like a life sentence. I miss being able to do the normal everyday things that is I once could. Please remember today is a gift. I'm thankful for my children and my life but I do wish it could be a little bit more normal like everyone else.

My heart hurts today because its a self pity day.. again.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Long time no.. Yeah I'm a slacker!

I just realized how long it has been since I've posted in this blog. Mainly because I've been so focused on my other blog at http://iamnomartha.blogspot.com/ . Its my crafty blog. I wasn't always into crafts but as POTS took over and took pretty much all of my freedoms away, I found that I do have a somewhat crafty side.

Ok so it is now 2011. For some odd reason I keep typing 2001 instead. *shakes her head*. Not sure what to say other than I don't think the pacemaker is helping. As usual with POTS, I have a constant roller coaster of good and bad days. Except they tend to be weeks not days. My brain fog is really bad right now. Cognition is not my strong suite at the moment. I have an appt with Dr. Grubb in a few weeks.

I have to say I like the man but I don't like how often my visits are spaced. My PCP knows very little about POTS so seeing the one person who knows tons about it so few is a pain in my booty. I do know that I will have a long talk to him about what needs to be done. There has to be changes.

Still fighting for disability. The lovely state of Ohio was ever so nice as to reject my last appeal before they could even get the information about me having a pacemaker and why. So now we are fighting to get it put back in appeal status rather than hearing status. I'd love to kick Ohio really hard between the nuts (buckeye nuts?).


Ok something not POTS related. The kids are doing really good. Growing like crazy. Ian was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder but is doing amazing considering everything that should be delaying him. He's right on and above where he needs to be. Both boys got straight A's on their report card. So happy and proud of them.

I also do have to say as long as I ignore the issues associated with POTs, I'm very happy. Also if I ignore another issue. I've found a renewed since of enjoyment and happiness. Its very close to cloud 9. <3

I promise to try to update this a bit more. Also feel free to check out my other blog. I do tend to update it more often. :)