Man I need to just say...

I swear I'll post some more this week. We've had a lot of snow so it's been a little bit crazy here at home. I should be able to get my symptoms post up without fail tomorrow. I do want to share something right now.

Today I am filled with feelings that I hate. They rang from frustration to feeling like a failure. You see today is Valentine's day. I wanted to take my kids to watch a movie as their gift. While getting ready I was feeling really bad. Next thing I know I'm shaking (tremors). They were pretty bad. After discussing things with my husband we decided to offer them a rain check and another gift.

It is very hard to not feel like a crappy mother when you can't do the simplest of things for your children. All I want to do is let them have a normal childhood and not be affected by POTS like it is affecting me. Not being able to do things like this makes me feel like I've "dropped the ball" on motherhood or that I somehow can't even be a parent. I just want one day where I am normal. Where I feel like all the other moms in the world.

I'm sorry this sounds depressing but let's face it. POTS isn't a walk in the garden nor is it a trip over the rainbow.