There is enough for everything to get clean.

As I sat watching "Eat, Pray, Love" there comes a part where the main character is complaining that there isn't enough water for the bath tub to get everything clean. A wise ol' Italian lady replies "There is enough for everything important to get clean.". Or I guess something along that line. Sorry excuse me for not double checking. My brain seems to get stuck and keeps going and going.

So that line got me thinking about how so many of us. Not just us POTSY types but everybody on this Earth wants so much to make us happy. We adapt to one type of life and if an upgrade of some sorts comes. We forget how thankful we were to have what we just had. Just think at one point we were lucky just to have the air in our lungs and a mother to cradle us in her arms.

Well right now I'm in a sort of a remission of my POTS. I've been able to keep up with every soccer game and band event my oldest son has needed to be at. Heck I've even been at the events I need to be at. From psych appts to gym workouts. It's almost like life is absolutely perfect. But you know what? I'm not happy at this state. I want to be able to go back to college and own my own company and just do everything that is to my hearts desire. Then I watch this movie and I slow down. I realize all I need is the air in my lungs and somebody special to hold me.

So take a deep breathe in and remember there is enough to get all the important parts clean.

Tore up from the floor up.

Warning this post is a bit on the venting side. I am also very sure many of us feel the same way about what I'm about to talk about. When I first became sick I was diagnosed and tested by Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. I went that route because the University of Toledo, where Dr. Grubb practices, has a very long wait time for your first appointment. I believe my wait time was quoted as being a year. It dropped down to 6 months once I had the testing done that gave me the diagnosis of POTS.

As you may or may not remember, last month I was in the hospital at Ohio State University. I never that knew anybody else knew anything about POTS within a 2 hr driving period of my home until that episode. Toledo is 5 hours from my house. I know you are thinking, "Where is she going with this?" Well OSU decided not only do I need my current doctor but also a neurologist. I went to the neuro they suggested and was so annoyed. All he did is want to run test on me. As a matter of fact most of them are test that I had done at C.C. And no matter how many times I told him this he insisted I needed them repeated.

Tomorrow I am scheduled to have an EMG test. I'm actually in the process of rescheduling that test. Why? I already know I'm tore up from the floor up. I've had these test. Do the other test that you think I need to do, Mr. Doctor. So now I'm going to be the responsible patient and get Cleveland Clinic to send me all of my test results that I've had. This way I can sit down with this doctor and say look this is what we know.... you can now do everything else.

We as patients know we are broken. We are trying to find the answers too. We want to know the answers so badly it really hurts. What we don't want is to physically hurt more. So if you're a doctor or a patient reading this please do me this one thing. DON'T PUT US IN ANYMORE PAIN THAN WE ARE ALREADY IN.

And on that note I will end this blog post and say that I hope you're feeling well. I hope you're having a much better and a painless day. Thanks. :)

A little under the weather.

I just wanted to post a brief update. I will try to work on some post for this week/weekend but I felt I owed you an update. As some of you may or may not know I have two amazing boys. While their mommy is sick, it never slows them down. I try to save my energy for them as much as I can. Well both of them have birthdays in March. My youngest had his recently on the 11th. (Happy Birthday my little Firecracker!) My oldest has his on the 22nd. While they are still willing to share, we have a huge party for their friends and family in between. Sunday we had the party. I was exhausted and wore down. Friday before the party I spent the day in the ER. That experience will be a forth coming post pending I don't file a lawsuit.

So back to where I was...Friday in the ER with a fever and problems breathing. I figured it was the flu but my husband pushed for me to get checked out. He was right, it wasn't the flu but pneumonia. I had another checkup today with my PCP and he added 4x daily breathing treatments and yet another antibiotic. So I am now on two of those.

We need me to get better. I am having that implantable heart monitor put in at the end of this month. I can't be ill when I have my blood work done. So please understand when I say I do miss you guys and will try to write a post soon, but my brain cells are seriously just not here right now. Not that they ever were! PoTS sucks like that.

In the meantime, if you have any questions for me please post a comment here or send me an email at bangingpots @ gmail.com

Hope everyone is feeling well and you have much more energy than I! <3